The Power of Joy
We’ve all experienced it. A huge smile, infectious laugh, or that special person sitting next to you. These are the kind of gifts that lift us. Some would even say these gifts are completely free to give. But there is more than meets the eye in these experiences.
The Cost of Joy
A smile doesn’t happen on the face of someone sad. If you walk up to a person in a state of sorrow and give them your biggest smile, what do you think you might get in return? They might get angry at you or feel even worse off comparing themselves to how they perceive you are feeling. They might lash out at you too. But generally, they will not smile back. This is because smiles are expensive when you are not feeling it. Even if there is a valid reason for your sorrow you have to give it up in order to smile, or laugh, or make someone else feel happy.
When things are not going your way in life, one's own expressions of joy are hard to come by. They are costly and require a significant amount of sacrifice to gain them. It is the human condition that happiness and anger or sorrow don’t mix well inside of us. In order to be happy, one must sacrifice sorrow or anger. However, a much more important piece to know is that in order to be sorrowful or angry you must give up happiness.
And this leads us to the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is a pleasurable feeling. There is a diagram called the feelings wheel, on it you can see that being Happy is a core feeling and many feelings can be used to define Happiness further. Feelings like optimism, trust, peace, acceptance, or pride. Happiness is a feeling based on immediate and current circumstances.
But joy is a gift and a choice. It is a gift because it is based on a trust we have in some kind of promise and therefore also based on what we hope for. And it is a choice because it is based on what we know. If your father is trustworthy and tells you that in 10 days you will get that very specific item you have been eyeing for 6 months now. It is easy to be filled with joy. You do not have what you want, and it could happen that you never get it for some unforeseen circumstances. But right now without any change to your current situation, you are joyful. Your joy is based on something that may happen.
If you are a follower of Jesus, there is trust that he will give you new life in Heaven and you can hope in that. And you know that he is faithful and just to do what he says he is going to do. You can believe and trust in Jesus that he will also give you joy.
Joy is a posture based outside of your current circumstances. As such you can actually be sorrowful and grieving and also still very much be filled with Joy. The feelings come because of circumstance and the joy is chosen because of trust, hope and knowledge.
The cost of Joy is choosing it no matter where your emotions are at.
The Power of Joy
The other thing about Joy that is unique is that you do not need to currently be experiencing anything that your joy is based on. You don’t need to have a big celebration to have joy. You don’t need to be in your favorite place or with your favorite people to have joy. Still, joy can also be shared in those experiences because they build trust, hope, and knowledge.
For example, if you gain a great amount of happiness from being in a beautiful tranquil wilderness spot then you can actually have joy being there knowing that it will bring about a good feeling and you can also gain joy from that experience when not at that location. The anticipated experience can give you joy. You can gain joy while not being there. You hope to go back, you trust that what you find when you get there is the same and you know that the beauty of that location triggers the good feelings.
It is the same with people. You experience people that make you happy and then when apart you hope to gather with them again, you trust that they will treat you the same or even better with a growing depth of relationship and you know that those people are trustworthy, encouraging, or uplifting and that makes you feel good. This is why we all gravitate to people that make us feel good. We hope to be with them again, so we take action to be with them again.
So here is the real power of joy;
It is about giving Joy to others. It is what we give to others by caring for them when we are together. This gift of pouring into others then drives them to be excited about being with you again. Have you ever experienced the joy it is to call up someone whom you desire to be with and they are genuinely excited or even overjoyed about being with you too? This is the greatest joy. They want to be with you because you cared for them when you were together last. Giving to this person created joy in them and then followed through to give you even greater joy.
There is a difference between pursuing your own joy versus pursuing others' joy. The first only provides you with joy and can even hurt other people in your selfishness. The latter provides others with joy and in turn, gives you joy. And that joy leads to the experiences of a lifetime.
The true power of Joy is that it is a gift meant to be given.
So when James says, “Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds.” he is saying, choose joy because it transcends your circumstances and give it freely so that others can endure trials too. Then you will be given more joy and have more joy to give which leads to a joyful perseverance through anything you face.
The Gift of Joy
So when you are with someone who is hurting, angry, or sorrowful can there still be joy present? Often at first, it is very hard for those people to experience joy. But if in the moments that you are with them, you actively care for their needs then you can actually give them joy. Reassure them that you are coming back, even giving them a date for your next visit. Be trustworthy and follow through with them. You will find that in small ways you will give them trust in you, hope in you and knowledge that they will be cared for when you come. This can give a sustaining joy while you are apart and an affirmative joy while together. That affirmative joy can also come with circumstantial feelings but it is deeper and more enduring. When caring for someone you have the critical opportunity to give joy or to take joy.
But what if you are the hurting, angry, or sorrowful person? How do you find joy then too? How do you overcome the negativity? I can only tell you what we found. You can find the whole approach in my post When Bad News Breaks In
The last step in that approach is Directional Motivation. In this step, a pursuit to give joy to others is a persevering and sustainable approach to finding joy for yourself through your struggle. Again, it is because by giving joy you are given more joy. From that more joy, you can give more joy and so no matter how much joy you give you always have more filling you up.
The cost of Joy is that you have to choose it. The power of Joy is that you have it give. The gift of joy is that you gain it more richly.
Yes in the midst of having nothing, or experiencing hell on earth Joy does exist. Out of these moments, it can be chosen, It should be given and it will multiply exponentially.
